Quote the Raven

Even with all the focus on “Green” and “Earth Friendly” options Corporate America is so slow (for the most part) with implementing work at home initiatives. Personally speaking I truly think that the majority of upper management has this paranoia that their workers are going to be sleeping late and napping on the couch all day. With the vast options of broadband internet and the ability to access work related material why does it take so much time to implement such simple plans? It must be related to that “warm body” syndrome when a manager can’t seem to figure out that you don’t need to see someone in a cube to actually know that person is working. I don’t know if it’s a trust issue, a control issue, or just an issue of not being able to implement something new and different.

Management of the World! Wake up! Do something new and different that doesn’t have to do with buzz words, committees, and double talk. Just make a plan and make it work. It’s not that hard.

Damn, I didn’t remember how long I was AWOL till I checked the date of my last post.  Sad, isn’t it?  (moment of silence goes here)

Well, I’ve been kind of BUSY and it seems like blogging suffered along with some other things.  So I got lots of catching up to do.  I guess the really big perk of not generating traffic is that your EntreCard advertising fee goes WAY down and then everyone and their cousin wants to use your site.  So where do I begin to say what’s been going on in my ever so exciting life? (mocking laughter goes here)

I guess I’ll just have to post as things pop into my head.  That way I build up the suspense …  are you ready?

Yes, I’ve been ignoring my blog responsibilities and not posting anything because honestly speaking I didn’t have much to say that I thought would have been worth reading.  So, you might be asking yourself what he could be doing to cause such an absence on his blog.  I really don’t know when you get down to it.  You ever have those times when you feel like you’re so busy and your life is on some form of auto-pilot? 

Between work and just being mentally burned out on things I just was in an extreme veggie mode of life.  So I had a long hard talk with my Tivo and drained it of anything worthwhile watching and then decided it was time to hit the DVD collection and see what else I could do to free my mind of any real “active” use.  Yeah, nothing like flushing one’s mind with mindless hours of DVD watching to really feel like you’ve accomplished something.  I’m sensing some form of disbelief.

Good News:  I supposedly won the Premium Theme Contest at WP-Premiums.com’s contest.  I’m just awaiting some feedback from Brad to supply me the actual theme and any customization if any. 

Bad News:  It seems my handle has been misconstrued as being the feminine of the species, so I’m pondering the need to start shaving while the hormone request goes through.  I guess I need to throw some testosterone around else this mistaken gender issue will continue to plague me.

So in closing again I witness the universe and its Ying-Yang methodology … Win a contest … Change your sex.  I think in the future I’m going to really have to think twice about winning contests of this nature.

Since this seems to make me wonder at times I think I have to ask it out loud:
What do people do with DVD when they aren’t in the DVD Player? 

As stated before I have a Netflix account and I occasionally have the pleasure of getting a nearly pristine DVD and have the amazing experience of watching a DVD without having to deal with the dreaded “Stuck Picture”, “Reset to the start of the movie”, or the “Skip randomly to some other scene” situation.  All these have one thing in common and that would be dreaded “DVD Abuse”.  Yes, for some reason DVDs, not being made of anything akin to diamond or even a form of bullet proof transparency, have this amazing talent to get completely scratched, marred, split, smudged, and other forms of mutilation.  Since they aren’t sentient we all know that these simple forms of media are the victims of unwanted abuse and destruction. Read more…

Ugh!  That just about sums up how I’ve been feeling for the last week, perhaps not the most poetic wordage, but when you’re dealing with an extreme head cold where your sinuses are making your head feel like it’s in a vice grip then that word just about sums up the total experience.  I’d like to thank my health sponsors: Tylenol Cold Multi Symptom, Alka Seltzer Cold - Day and Night, some GoldenSeal, and let’s not forget my new best friend Mucinex DM. No, no .. not at the same time, but in combinations of course because it’s like a recipe for relief.

So at this point I’m not sure if I feel better or I just can’t feel certain parts of my body.  I’ve also noticed a side effect of being sick and on lots of meds: I couldn’t keep a train of thought past 3 sentences … I think I was possibly drying up my brain while attending to my sinus’s attempts to force my eyes out of my head. Perhaps a bit graphic, but hey you weren’t here wondering why their head felt like it was going to explode – much like those commercials I made fun of in the past.   So posting became a thing of attempt, but not much success, and then again a three sentence post just doesn’t do me justice.

So I guess I need to get myself organized and start putting some thoughts together and get them out there.  I know I’ve been ignoring my loyal readers, or people who are just checking this out only one time, or some massive internet “Bermuda Triangle type phenomenon” where people click on Google and somehow they appear on my site.  Either way … I will hopefully be making some recovery this weekend and should have a few posts out.  Before I go I just have to say that “If that image is not an eye catcher then I don’t know what is” … yeah, these drugs sure do a number on me.

Okay, so … any Family Guy fans out there? (raises hand) … I know some of you are closet fans, the kind that won’t admit it in public, but this is a blog so just fess up and raise your hand.

Well, I came home today and was given a new t-shirt, and the best part of the gift was it was a Christmas present that my girlfriend hide from me. Yes, she hid it so well she forgot about it and it stayed hidden till today when she was cleaning up and discovered her well hidden stash. Morale of this story - make sure you actually remember the gifts you hide. This is one of those lighter posts after my ramblings of what I run into at work. I don’t want you to go thinking that I’m on the verge of some postal rage. The secret is to laugh at your environment to lessen its impact on your mind. I also suggest you keep the laughter down to a dull chuckle at times cause some coworkers and managers might either take offense or have you committed “for your own good”.

Well, that’s all for now. Off to heat up some leftover pizza for dinner. Mmm, gourmet dinner .. here I come.

P.S. The title is a Daffy Duck reference. ;)  Extra points if you recall the cartoon it came from.

Another phenomenon is quite the mouthful too, so follow me closely now:
  Buzollution: pronounced Buz-ol-lution, coming from the words Buzz (the latest information within an industry or a locale), and Pollution (the act of polluting something, especially the natural environment).  It’s the notion that you need to keep repeating the same phrases and jargon that others have come up with such as “metrics, synergy, vision, SOP, SLA, action item, Best Practice, and etc.  Welcome to the wonderful world of words that make simple thoughts and concepts turn into melodramatic managerial banter.  Yes, what would life be without catch phrase repeated constantly to avoid any real communication? Read more…

Term: Executus Nul Rationalus
Meaning: Amazingly enough coming from two English words, and those would be “Execute” (complete an action or movement, especially one requiring skill) and “Rationale” (the reasoning or principle that underlies or explains something, or a statement setting out this reasoning or principle). Throw in a “Nul”(as in Null), for the meaning of a negative reference, or lack of Rationale and the term is now complete. Read more…

Those of you that are mentally enslaved at a large corporation will recognize some of the following, and others will laugh and count themselves lucky they don’t have to face such stupidity.  You see without revealing a lot about my specific job I decided to share some of the mind numbing experiences that truly make me wonder how the people in charge got there in the first place.  Thus begins my review of terms that are scene in today’s corporate world that need some acknowledgement and perhaps some clarification.

Term:  Proberration Read more…